Dracula Is a Racist: A Totally Factual Guide to Vampires by Matt Melvin

Author:Matt Melvin
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Parodies, Humor, Social Science, Form, Monsters & legendary beings, Popular Culture, Form - Parodies, Satire And Humor, General, Popular Culture - General, Humour, Humour: Collections & General
ISBN: 9780806531373
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corporation
Published: 2010-03-30T05:00:00+00:00

Reaction to Fresh Blood

Like sharks, vampires smell blood and become immediately attracted to the source. They are almost subconsciously compelled to follow it. It’s instinct.

Due to this instinctual reaction, if you have a feeling that someone is a vampire, you can cut yourself to draw blood and observe how they react (the only time cutting yourself is actually helpful).

Suits and Capes

It might not be very common anymore, but some vampires still dress in Victorian-era fashion. It’s incredibly easy to just avoid these people altogether. Even if they aren’t vampires, you generally want to steer clear of those freaks as well.

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